Thursday, March 6, 2008

please SHUT UP!

Yesterday after lunch we went to meet with a guy who has a reputation for doing all the talking and absolutely no listening. He didn't let us down.

This dude talked non-stop for 20 minutes without taking a breathe (or so it seemed). I cannot tell you anything he said. I have no idea if the words that were coming out of his mouth told a story or even made a complete sentence. That is how little I heard.

I am not sure why people feel like they have to do ALL the talking. I know a lot of it comes from insecurity and control issues. The thought is that "if I am doing all the talking, people will think I am really smart" (insecurity) or "if I am the one talking, others can't talk unless I allow them" (control). Please hear me when I say "YOU ARE WRONG".

If you feel the need to dominate the conversation, I don't think you are smart or in control. I actually believe the opposite. You are an idiot if you do all the talking. How do you expect to learn anything if you never listen. How do you expect to get quality people around you if you don't show interest in anyone else. As for the control issue, I believe you are way out of control if you can't shut your pie hole! You have absolutely no control whatsoever if you won't shut up long enough to listen. You are a silly little freak if you do all the talking.

My point: for the love of all that is pure and good - PLEASE SHUT UP! If you want to have any friends in this life, you have to have an interest in them. If you want to have any influence with the people around you, take part in the long lost skill of listening.

If you want people to like being around you, they have to like how they feel when you are around. Make them feel good about themselves by actively listening to them. Affirm them and encourage them. By listening to others, you show them that you value what they are saying. I didn't value this person's words at all...

5 comments:

Derek said...

I am convicted by this...I certainly can dominate a conversation. I don't mean to...but I do it from time to time. :(

Dave Kidd said...

OH MY!
Is commenting a form of talking???

Unknown said...

derek, conviction is a good thing if you make an effort to identify and change those things you feel convicted of.


dave, commenting is always welcome. keep 'em coming. If you begin to dominate I will have you blocked...ha

Marty Daniels said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marty Daniels said...

I deleted my first post because all it said was "very cool" which wasn't what I wrote...what I wrote was.

Comment: I agree with your sage advice.

Question: Did you share this wisdom with the great yappie one?