Tuesday, August 26, 2008

love conflict?

I have never been one to run from conflict. I guess I see it as a necessary part of life and leadership. 

Someone asked me why I "love conflict". That got me thinking. Do I really love conflict. Do I create conflict just because I love it...

After much thought and prayer, I have concluded that I don't love conflict. In fact, I don't even like it. I have found that dealing with conflict is the only way to peace. As long as we are alive, conflict will be present. It doesn't have to be bad all the time. 

I don't love conflict, I love peace. If conflict is not dealt with quickly and directly, it can get out of control and lead to awkward environments or even bitter, unforgiving feelings. 

If there is a conflict, there are feelings attached to it. If those feelings aren't talked through and worked out, relationships can be destroyed. I hate to see this happen. Especially when the conflict is usually the result of miscommunication or something being taken the wrong way. 

I say, give the person the benefit of the doubt. Go directly to them and talk it through. If the person chooses not to hear what you are saying, listen to them first. Sometimes you have to earn the right to be heard. Just because you have something to say, doesn't mean someone has to listen. If it can't be worked out (which is because one or both people CHOOSE to keep it going), handle it in a way that you will be proud of 5 years from now. If you were to retell the story, how do you want to be remembered for your part?

My point: decide if the relationship is really worth ending over something that is probably going to be forgotten in a day, week or month. Give the benefit of the doubt. Let the goal be peace, not getting your point across or proving you are right. Do you want to have great relationships or do you always want to be right?

Isn't it funny how we can be mad at someone for so long that we forget why. 

Hate conflict - love peace

1 comment:

The Truth said...

See...now that's funny b/c you,as a person who doesn't like conflict....hmmmm....I seem to remember when you MADE me bite and beat up a Lieutenant in a football game....I,a humble man of peace,was being taunted by this gentleman and as I entered the huddle...you turned to me and said "it's coming to you"....your pass was dead on...I slapped it away and tackled this poor guy...pummeling him with my tiny fists...like a leprachaun on crank....terrible. But as you and Bruce cheered me on I remembered my vow in my Christian Black Belt Academy--"Making the other guy turn the other cheek"

MY POINT: conflict is inevitable and being the winner always helps

(J/k :) )