bummer

Two of my favorite people in the world have decided to end their marriage after many years and a gaggle of kids.

I am incredibly sad for everyone involved. Life will never be the same for any of them. I pray they will all be able to get past the hurt and changes that are coming their way. I wish them the best and I will continue to be a friend to both of them.

There are many directions I could go with the topic of divorce (or dissolution) but I was impressed with the way they chose to handle questions - with integrity.

I was asked to give the "company line" when people ask what happened. The answer is "one of them did something they cannot get past". Wow! I know many relationships where one of them would be screaming "he/she did this and it's not my fault, I didn't want this, I am the victim, feel sorry for me!"

They have decided to take the high road and not trash each other. They both accept their contribution to the problem that led to this decision and are trying to handle it with integrity.

I am in no way saying I agree with the decision. I really wish it would turn out differently. What I am saying is that with all the hurt feelings and depth of pain, I agree with the decision not to trash each other.

My point(s): 1 -Integrity is something you can't fake. What do you do when other people are not watching? 2 -The only thing we cannot get past are the things we choose to hold on to. To say "there is just too much to get past" is a choice. We are going to have to forgive regardless if we stay in the relationship or not.

I have given my brutally honest opinion because I love them. I don't think divorce (dissolution) is the best option for these amazing people but I am their friend no matter what.