coaching

I have taken some classes on coaching and I was just getting ready to blog about it and my 7 yr old walked into my room with a dilemma. "daddy, I can't fall asleep".

Coaching is defined as helping someone get from where they are to where they want to go. My immediate thought was to tell her to go back to bed and stay there until she fell asleep but I decided to coach my little ginger.

I had her define reality: I can't fall asleep.
I had her tell me the things she tried: counting sheelp, staring at the ceiling, thinking about nothing.
I asked her what could she try that she hasn't tried: I don't know, that's why I came in here.

After a bunch of questions (I gave no answers), she was getting a little antsy. I asked questions that made her think differently than she had been thinking. After about 5 minutes she came to an "aha moment". She got this big smile on her face and said "daddy, you just gave me an idea". She then asked me to pray that her idea would work.

I prayed with her and she ran out of my room with a big toothless smile on her pretty little face.

My point: our kneejerk reaction is to usually give instruction or what we think is a good answer but people own the decision when they feel like they helped come up with it.

I LOVE helping people find the best answer for their situation. The truth is - they are the expert. No one knows their situation better than them and although the best solution may not be obvious to them, it can usually be uncovered with some good questions.

Coaching is a great way to validate people and get them to think for themselves. If I always give the answer, why would they need to think on their own. If I can teach them to answer the questions I would ask - now that is good coaching.