he said "yes" (or did he?)

The art of answering questions. Learn it and life will be a lot easier not to mention more fun. I love listening to people communicate. It tells me a lot about them. Can that person get you to stop something without using force, can they get you to see things their way or can they tell you "no" and make you feel good about it? Those are communication skills. You are giving them something instead of taking something.

I learned not to take something from my 2 year old without giving her something to replace it. In other words when she is playing with steak knives, I give her butter knives or forks because the steak knives are too sharp. Get it?

When you need to tell someone "no", it is an art to get the other person to think you are doing them a favor by telling them "no". Or better yet, you word it in a way to make them feel like they got exactly what they were asking for. How do you do this... by saying "yes if" or "yes but".

So let's try it. Question: "Hey dad, can I borrow the car tonight?" response: "you sure can son, if I die in my sleep!" See how that works. Question: "hey Mom, can I borrow $50?" response: "yes if you milk the monkeys first". You are giving a "conditional yes". Fun huh...

My point: communication is our best friend. Learn to communicate effectively and you can have a lot of fun in life. Find some great communicators and learn from them.

Isn't a "conditional yes" the same thing as a "no"? Well, yes if you want to look at it that way.