Last night I blogged in an attempt to be funny... or did I?I posted a video (I already removed it) that my friend John put on youtube. It is an absolutely hilarious video and I laughed like crazy while watching it but I posted it with the intent to embarrass him - but that is not what friends do.
He was making comments about the pictures I posted on my facebook and I was striking back. I figured if he can dish it out, he can take it. While that sounds good and fair, it just made me feel awful.
As I shared the last time I got to speak at C3 church in a message called "beware of the mouth", I am a recovering idiot. I used to be the one would make fun of people for a laugh. I realized that the reason I made fun of people was out of my own insecurities.
I am not saying that is why other people do it - it is why I did it. I would justify it with: well it's true, they know I'm kidding, it was just a joke... I would make all kind of excuses. The bottom line is it was wrong. Funny or not, it is wrong for ME to use my words to tear others down.
I found myself wanting revenge, to make others look stupid because that is what they were attempting to do to me, and I didn't like my motive. I apologize to John "the Truth" TeHaug and to everyone who reads this blog. I became what I used to be and didn't stay true to who I am and I hated that.
My point: it is a daily battle to sustain the changes I have made in my life. I can't allow others to suck me back into that world.
I am the one who posted the pictures knowing they are funny. I think they are definitely a sign of the times changing. I will keep posting pictures that are intended to be funny and if you choose to make comments, have fun and know that there will be no retaliation. I can take it.
1 comment:
I wouldn't have been embarassed - it's why I made it - to make people laugh. But I get it that you are speaking of intent. Apology accepted!!
But I say POST IT my man - -I made that during the worst time of my life - when I lost Sherry to cancer and thought I would just die; I had no control over anything, was angry, hated everyone....I needed something to try and use as an outlet - -God knows drinking yourself to death doesn't work anymore - -that's so 1983.
"If God brings you to it, He'll get you through it." And I believe that - - so POST repressitard and Adult Onset Retardation....And please notice the dog at the end, peering out at me like "I'm the nut"...Yeah. Right. Stoopid dog.
So settle down Keanu Reeves from Point Break (and not The Matrix)- I love you.
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