the plan

We went to a retreat on Monday and we all walked away with a new focus on the importance of a plan.

We believe that God wants C3 to be a church that makes a dent in the Columbus area. Are we the team that will take us there - no, NOT YET!!!

In order to be ready for the growth that God is giving us, we need to become the growing leaders that He can trust His church with. We sat down in a coffee shop to debrief and we gave each other permission to ask the tough questions and hold each other accountable to the personal growth plan that we will submit in a few weeks.

It has to be specific and have measurable results. The reason we need a plan is just because we want to become something, doesn't mean we will - unless we have a plan and accountability.

We are going to hold each other accountable and find 4 or 5 others who we can grow with.

My point: if we don't put our plan in writing it is just a dream. When we put it on paper and have someone holding us accountable - it is a plan for growth. You are on the road to somewhere, you might as well go where you want to go instead of just driving around hoping that you will run out of gas somewhere cool...

Do you have a plan to become (fill in whatever you want) or are you wasting a bunch of time hoping it will just happen on its own?

3 things about you

For an icebreaker during our first community group, we had to name 3 things that describe ourselves.

It was a little difficult because these people know you and can tell if what you are saying is really true or what you just wish was true about yourself. It is sometimes awkward to say positive things about yourself - why is that?

It was also kind of funny to see those who had their spouse next to them would say a word then look to their spouse for approval. If they didn't get what they were looking for they would say "right" or try to explain why they said it.

One of the benefits to being in a community group is that you can be real honest and others are going to be honest with you. It is hard to continue being who you want people to think you are. These people know if you really are what you say you are. I think it would be interesting to see what would happen if we all wrote 3 words to describe the other and see if our personal words matched. Maybe we will do that at the end...

My point: Who you are and who you want people to think you are can be totally different. If we continue to experience LifeChange, we will be who Christ wants us to be and that is what really matters.

I said I am: funny, honest and loyal (feel free to add your own or agree/disagree with mine)

What 3 things do you want people to say about you - then go be those things...

kill the rabbit

C3 kicked off Community Groups (CG) this week. I am a HUGE fan of community groups.

We read a lot of research about how to have great community groups and one of the biggest things we need to do as CG leaders is KILL RABBITS.

There are many personalities that can destroy true community and as much as I would like to name the personalities and put pictures of people who have them, I will refrain (for now).

One of the most subtle killers of true community is the "rabbit trail". This is where someone takes the discussion far far away from where it started or is intended to go. This is dangerous because it can often result in a rant or a long long boring story. Even if the story is somewhat entertaining, they need to be shot for the good of the group. If it is relevant to the discussion, they are not rabbit trails.

Rabbit trails can come on subtly enough but they can take you to a place you never wanted to go. The goal of CG's are to grow in your relationship with Christ. Rabbit trails keep that from happening.

My point: come to CG expecting to participate in conversations and come ready to grow. If you take off on a rabbit trail, expect to get shot.

CG's are where "real people share real life through real relationships"

bonus: in one of our groups we actually had a guy act like he was loading a gun every time someone started down a rabbit trail. It was a humorous way to let people know they are going somewhere that we may not want to go. We had a lot of fun with this...

tippy toe

Tippy toe, Tippy toe...

The greatest compliment you can receive is the one you are not around to hear.

Wow, think about that statement. Don't we always think that when people are talking about us, it's bad. That stinks.

We had a C3 team meeting last week and we agreed that we need to protect the unity of our team. I said that if they ever think I am talking about them, they need to know that I am talking good about them.

There was a great Seinfeld episode (they were all great) that had a little saying to warn ya that the person you are talking about is coming. If me and Konan are talking trash about Brent and Brent starts walking over - I would say "tippy toe, tippy toe" to warn Konan that Brent is coming.

We have decided as a team that if there is a negative word to be spoken, it will be spoken to the person and no one else, we don't need to use "tippy toe" anymore.

What are you trying to accomplish by talking about others. Are you trying to make yourself look better by making others look bad. Are you trying to point out stuff that would be better if you were in charge. Are you trying to let others know that you are an insecure little person...

My point: Talk about others but make sure it's good. You will never have to hear "tippy toe" because you want the other person to know what you are saying.

bra shopping

Well, Hannah is 4 years old so I took her bra shopping. What else should we have done?

This little beauty comes out of nowhere with some pretty funny stuff. We were in a store the other day and she picked this little purple bra up and said "look, this is to cover my pippies".

Even though it isn't quite time to take her bra shopping, it does make you appreciate time. I really enjoy hanging with my girls. As I look back, it seems like just yesterday that Shayna was 4 (she is now 13). Pretty soon Shayna will be graduating HS and we will be bra shopping for Raegan...

My point: Time goes by so fast. We need to make sure that we are taking every opportunity to enjoy the journey.

Life with 4 females in the house is ALWAYS interesting but I have learned a few things:

1. I never leave the toilet seat up.

2. There is always going to be drama

3. There will probably never be a time that they are all in a great mood at the same time

4. I am a VERY blessed man.

Happy Birthday Hannah. We will go bra shopping soon my dear...

always room for RaeRae

Hannah used to have a problem sharing with Raegan (RaeRae). We saw this and decided to do something about it from very early on.

Anytime RaeRae would be on my lap or would try to play with something of Hannah's, Hannah would try to move her away or take the toy. Hannah didn't want anything to do with me or the toy until RaeRae did. We decided to come up with little sayings to help our children remember things. In this case, anytime RaeRae would want to be held, sit on my lap or even - Lord forbid - stand on Hannah's stool, we would say "Hannah, there is ALWAYS room for RaeRae"...

It didn't take long for this little phrase to sink in. One day we were upstairs and heard the girls playing. I looked down and saw Hannah sitting in a little chair and here comes RaeRae. I watched as I figured I would have to intervene and correct some behaviors. To my surprise, Hannah saw RaeRae coming towards her and Hannah (by some miraculous move of the almighty God), shifted over and made room for RaeRae to sit down. She said "there's always room for RaeRae" and allowed her to sit with her and began reading the book to her little sister. Who saw that one coming? I ran downstairs and started to cheer for Hannah. I grabbed her and we all began dancing and celebrating. It was quite a scene.

Hannah and RaeRae now even share this tiny little stool in the bathroom. Granted, they will soon be to big for them to share but that will be fun to watch them try.

My point: we have to teach and encourage the behavior we want repeated. We want our children to know that no matter what - we MAKE time and room for each other.

There will never be a time when a family member or friend is not welcome to be around me (other than the obvious times that involve the bathroom). If you see me talking to someone, you don't need to be an insecure little man / woman and think you can't approach me. If you assume I am talking about you, you should assume I am talking good... That's just how I roll ya'll

competition

I am a pretty competitive person. I will try to make everything a competition, at least I used to.

I learned pretty quick that just because winning or losing motivates me, it doesn't motivate everyone. I don't like to lose so I am motivated to win and try harder or rise to the level of pressure placed on me by the other person.

I had to learn to keep the competitions limited to people who "wanted" to be in competition. I found out that when I made something a game of winning or losing but the other person didn't want to participate, it made things worse. Winning or losing didn't necessarily motivate them like it does me.

Another reason I had to get this under control is because I don't lose very gracefully (probably because I don't lose that often...ha). I would become a poor sport or try to get into the other persons head and often times I would let it get personal just so I could win.

Sometimes when I would win, I would lose. I would win the stupid competition but I would lose respect of others and worse case scenario, I would lose a friend because I would say or do things in the heat of competition that I would not understand why it was a big deal after the game was over (and I won).

I now compete and if I lose, I am a great sport about it (most of the time). I have learned that what matters most is people - period.

My point: I LOVE winning and I will always do my best. If that results in a victory - great. If not, that is ok too but I will not trade a win for a friend. The loss of respect is not worth the bragging rights to say "I won" because honestly no one really cares about the title or trophy except you...

Get over your pride and care about others enough to congratulate them on their victory. You will be a better person for it and you will keep your friends.

who cares

I read a cool shirt that said "no one cares about your blog".

That made me think (go figure). We really do think people care about what WE say. Do they? I don't know, I guess it depends on what you say. If you are constantly speaking a load of negative garbage or gossip or tearing people down then I would say no, they don't care.

If you are using your words to build others up, then maybe they not only care but they may need to hear what you are saying.

I have to constantly guard my words because I can use them in an attempt (usually a lame attempt) to be funny without thinking about how they affect other people.

My point: do you care about my blog - I don't really care but I will use it to make a point, rant or just point out pet peeves but I will not intentionally tear other people down. If I point things out, it will be a general statement.

Do people care about what you say?