spiritual decay

I was reading "the tale of 3 kings" by Gene Edwards (GREAT BOOK) and it motivated me to start reading 1 & 2 Samuel.

As I was reading this morning something in the study notes really hit me hard - in a very good way. Here is what it said:

Poor leadership is not the result of personality traits but of decaying spiritual character. What we do is often a direct result of our spiritual condition. We cannot ignore the importance of spiritual character in effective leadership.

When I think about the times that I get frustrated, easily offended, overly critical, sarcastic or just in a bad mood, I can honestly say those times happen more often when I am not spending time in prayer & reading my Bible. 

Every relationship I have, whether it is my spouse, kids, co-workers or friends, is directly effected by my spiritual health. If I am not growing, I am decaying. How I respond or react is a direct result of my spiritual health.

I would challenge you to see if this is true for you as well. If you are constantly in a bad mood or easily frustrated, look at how much time you spend with your creator.

My point: it seems so simple & obvious but we often neglect THE single most important thing in our lives - our personal relationship with Christ. If we are filling ourselves with the wisdom and knowledge from God’s word, we will look & sound a lot more like Him.

What is your spiritual condition? I am sure you can ask those closest to you if you want the brutal truth…

Your spiritual condition is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

feel free to comment

default

When you mess with most techy devices they usually have a "restore default settings" button. That is so you can get it back to the way it was if you mess it up to bad or don't like it once you've changed it.

I was talking to some people about how we communicate and it seems like we have a "default" reaction to news that we don't necessarily like. When you watch some comedy shows, the typical reaction is biting sarcasm, anger or getting defensive. That is funny to watch but not real fun to experience.

My usual default response used to be sarcasm or humor. I have since tried to respond calmly as opposed to reacting negatively. It is usually better to respond instead of react. The difference is a planned approach. When you respond, you think before you speak. When you react, your default actions kick in and it's usually negative.

Don't you hate trying to talk to people that you know they are just going to take what you are saying the wrong way. It is so stinkin' hard to have a conversation when you are so worried about how your words are going to be taken. Walking on eggshells is really difficult.

My wife and I have agreed to give each other the benefit of the doubt. I confess that we aren't always successful but we try. When you give people the benefit of the doubt, you don't have to get all defensive, sarcastic and attack. You simply hear what they are saying, make sure you understand it the way they intended and then respond calmly.

My point: if people fear telling you things, your default reaction stinks. It's something that you can totally control and you need to have enough self-discipline to think before you speak. If not, people are going to hate you and not want to be around you. If that is what you are going for, well then, keep reacting instead of responding.

No one likes to be yelled at. What if people talked to you the way you talk to them. Stop making excuses, grow up and change your default settings... respond instead of react.

You can thank me later...

random

The holiday challenge is on. So far the total weight gain for 11 participants is only 4 lbs... I will keep you posted. 

I just read "A tale of three kings" by Gene Edwards again. It is an amazing book. If you have not read it you really should. It seems to hit you right where you need it. No matter how often you read it, different parts speak to you at whatever phase of life you are in. 

I hate surprises so if you are getting me anything for Christmas, please tell me. 

I am falling in love with my wife more and more as each day passes. I am not in trouble or anything. We have just learned to communicate better and that has been amazing. 

I am learning to not let the little things bother me. My new motto is "it is what it is". I don't try to read to much into it and I choose to take it as it comes.

I have started journaling again and it is helping my walk with God. I find that putting my thoughts on paper helps me focus. If anyone ever reads my journal, they will think I am psycho and I will probably be locked up. Yes, I have probably written something about you!

One thing that is so heavy on my heart right now is that there really is a God and He really has a plan for my life. If that is true then each day is part of that plan and is intended to make me more like Christ. I can't just think the good things are from God and not the bad things. I need to keep this in mind each day and in every circumstance.

Thank you to those of you who participated in "1 thank you"... Special thanks to those who are thankful for me (big points for that). 

My daughters are absolutely amazing. I am humbled to be part of their lives. I can't wait to see what God does in and through each one of them.

I am still counting my blessings from Thanksgiving. 

Heroes is a great show. I can't wait for 24 to start. 

My wife and I played "I am thankful for..." we took turns naming things we were thankful for and it made a 2 hour drive seem like nothing. 

I am typing really fast.

My point: these are random thoughts that could all be blog posts of their own. I am to full of energy drinks to focus on only one topic...

I love energy drinks

I am done typing

the "don't gain" challenge

I read a stat that the average weight gain over the Holiday season from Nov to Jan is 12 pounds. Say that out loud "I am going to eat so stinkin much & not work out, that I am going to gain 12 pounds." 

That is a drastic change in lifestyle. More food in general. More junk food and less physical activity. That is why I am throwing out this little challenge. If you are up for it feel free to join in. 

Here are the details:

//Weigh yourself on Monday November 24th. That is the weight you must maintain until Jan 3rd. This is not a weight loss competition - lets be realistic. It is only to help keep from gaining. You don't have to tell anyone what your weight is, you just need to use the original weight as the target. 

//Each week you weigh yourself. If you have gained any weight, you owe $1 per pound you have gained. You cannot earn this money back if you lose it a different week. If you lose weight, that is great but you don't get anything for losing weight (other than the sheer satisfaction of knowing that most of the country isn't able to do what you just did).

//Every week you report your status. Either "no change", "gained ?" or "lost ?". Again, you owe $1 per pound gained. I will keep a tally of the money owed and keep everyone updated of the pot weekly. 

//At the final weigh in on Jan 3rd, the person/people who did not gain any weight wins the penalty money. If more than one person wins, we put the names in a hat and draw out one winner. 

//If no one maintains the weight, the person who gained the least amount over the competition wins the money. 

//If 3 people maintain the weight and one person loses any weight, the person who lost the weight still only gets the name in a hat. The goal is not to lose but not to gain. 

By saying "maintain" that means you never incur a gain penalty. Every time you weigh in, you have either stayed the same or lost. 

Here is a scenario. You start out at 150lbs. The first week you weigh in you weigh 148lbs. You owe nothing. The next week you weigh 150lbs again, you still owe nothing because you do not weigh more than the original starting weight. The next week you weigh 151lbs, you owe $1. The next week you weigh 150lbs again, you owe nothing but you don't get your $1 back. 

There are many people who said they would be interested in a competition to motivate them through the holidays, lets see if they meant it and will put their money where there mouth is...

My point: accountability is the best way to accomplish a goal. The goal is not to lose weight but to not gain weight. We can beat the national average if we do it together. The average person is going to gain weight over the next few months, lets not be average. 

Let me know if you are interested by leaving a comment or emailing me g3fowler@gmail.com

good grief

Remember how Charlie Brown used to say "good grief"... I started thinking about that. Is grief good? 

Today was probably the roughest time of my mourning the loss of my precious Megan. She was born on Nov 8th and died on Nov 12th. Deni and I usually spend some time on Nov 8th remembering her life and doing something in memory of her. We watch her video and we talk about those 4 days we spent with her and we cry cry cry...

This year was a little different. I thought I would handle it ok and we didn't do our normal routine. We made different plans. I was blown away at how incredibly different this year was. I found myself being really grumpy, giving short answers, getting mad at little things and I couldn't see how anyone would want to be around me because quite honestly, I didn't want to be around myself. 

I hated feeling like I did, but I didn't know how or what to do about it. I was pushing my wife away instead of embracing her and getting through this together. I found myself getting incredibly mad at her for not comforting me. I didn't even think about comforting her, I was too busy being selfish and self centered. My grief wouldn't allow me to focus on anyone or anything but myself. I didn't know how to communicate my feelings because I didn't understand them.

The one thing I know about grief is that it is unpredictable. Just because I handled it a certain way last year, doesn't mean I will handle it the same this year. We all handle it differently. 

I learned a lot about myself this year. One of the things I communicated to my wife is that when I am not myself and I am grumpy or irritable, the best thing she can do is give me a big ol' hug... She is taking a risk by doing it but she has to trust me enough to believe that a hug will bring me back to reality and send a much more loving message than getting mad at me or just keeping distance. 

My point: we have to allow ourselves the time we need to grieve. We just have to figure out how to grieve in a way that it doesn't hurt others. I heard that "hurting people, hurt people". I don't think that is the intent, it's just that we don't always communicate our feelings in a healthy way. 

Grieving is healthy but I wouldn't say "good grief".

to everyone who has prayed for us - THANK YOU and may God bless you.  

thank you

Since my blog has become such a massive influence in this country we live in, I have been asked to encourage you, my faithful readers,  to participate in answering the question "what you are thankful for." (Ok, so I realize only 6 people, on a good day, read this blog and they are all related to me but it sure did feel good to write)

We are at the time of year when everyone is getting ready to wake up really early to go shopping the day after thanksgiving to purchase a bunch of worthless stuff for people they don't even like. Some people will be in such a hurry that they will totally forget or not pay attention to what this season is truly about - thankfulness. 

I have a friend who has amazing hair and the church he attends set up a site for people to share what they are thankful for. He asked if my loyal fans (you) would participate. 

If you would go to onethankyou.com and leave a comment, that would be greatly appreciated. 

My point: we all have things that we should be thankful for. We need to take time to express that thanks and why not even share it with others. Feel free to leave a long comment or a bunch of shorter ones or whatever you feel like doing. 

I am thankful that you read this blog. I am thankful for your participation...

Megan

4 years ago today, I had the amazing opportunity to witness the birth of a beautiful baby girl. Deni and I welcomed Megan Renae to this world and our lives will forever be changed. 

Megan lived only 4 days but the lessons I have learned and continue to learn will stay with me for the rest of my life. Every year I allow myself this day to mourn. Normally when I think about Megan, I choose to focus on the good things about those 4 days. 

I know that little girl lived her entire life (although short) knowing nothing but LOVE. Somehow there is comfort in that. I don't suppress my feelings, I just choose to focus on the blessings that Megan brought. 

Then every Nov 8th, I will watch a video that we made of her short time on this earth. I watch my family hold her not knowing if she would die in their arms. I look at the pain on their faces because they will not see her again until we meet in Heaven. I see how different we all looked 4 years ago. I also notice how much pain there still is when I watch it. 

One of the coolest things I have learned is that the pain is so great because the love is so deep. If we don't care, we don't hurt. Whenever I talk to people that have suffered loss, I remind them that they are hurting so bad because they loved so much. That can't be a bad thing. 

My point: I don't EVER want the pain to be gone. I choose to allow that grief and pain serve as a reminder that I LOVE MEGAN SO MUCH!!!

If you have suffered a loss, I am sorry. Don't minimize the pain or act like it isn't hard. Choose to embrace the pain as a reminder of the depth of love you have for the one you lost.  

This is my favorite picture of my precious baby girl. She is so comfortable in Mommy's arms. She will have to be comforted in the arms of Jesus until we can hold her again. 

"I love you little girl"