UP

This week we got UP fitness bands. Since wearing them for 3 days we are now able to see how many steps we take, how much deep sleep, light sleep and even how long it takes for us to fall asleep. 

It is very cool but the reason it helps make better / healthier choices is because we are now accountable and we get immediate feedback. Deni can see what I have done and I can see what she has done. 

It even allows u to be on teams for an additional challenge if u want that. A lot of times we make unwise or unhealthy choices because we think it won't hurt, no one will know or I will make it right later. With his little bracelet, we get instant feedback. 

This thing will even remind u (by a light vibration) that u have been sitting for 15 - 30 mins. If we are in the car or if I am at my desk checking emails, I am gently nudged to get up and move around. 

My point: we all like instant feedback. We like to see "likes" or comments on our posts, we like to see the number go down on the scale, we like to get a laugh at a joke - whatever feedback or affirmation looks like to u, we like it immediately. 

What if we were this intentional with our spiritual lives - c'mon somebody!!!

Sidestep negativity

As a staff we are reading the cliff notes of 7 habits of highly successful people. One of the phrases that stuck with me was "be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy."

That got me thinking about people I like being around. I like being around them because they generate positive energy. Then I started thinking about how people perceive me. Do they perceive me as positive energy or am I someone they want to sidestep?

I once heard that the greatest form of deception is "self deception". That pretty much means you have no clue how you really are because you refuse to see yourself how you really are. One way to know if you are generating positive energy is if people like being around you dread it or are you flat out being sidestepped?

My point: sidestepping negative energy means not feeding it. Don't engage in it and don't definitely don't encourage it. If people get side stepped enough, it may cause them to take a good honest look in the mirror. If not overcome it with positivity.

Encourage and edify because beautiful things happen in your life when you distance yourself from all the negative things.

Just start

I have realized that stress leaves when you start.

When I have a lot on my "to do" list, I start feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Yesterday I started a few of the bigger things that need done and immediately it took the power away from the stress.

When I sit and worry or complain about all there is to do or how busy I am, I am in a defenseless - victim posture. When I make a plan to handle all the projects, the stress is lessened but when I start them the stress is pretty much gone.

I find I only get stressed or overwhelmed when I don't have a plan or haven't started.

My point: no one manages your time but you. Other people may want to or think they do but you ultimately stay in control of your time or you give it away. When I look at people as an interruption, I can get stressed but when I look at them as a worthy investment of my time - I choose to make them a priority over my task list.

I am in control of my time - PERIOD!

Take away the stress of the task by starting. What is the one thing that is stressing you out - make a plan and start it. Let me know how that works for you.

check your pulse

Each Wed at youth we have a time set aside to share "check your pulse" moments.

The youth name is Pulse and we have decided to help students focus on the time between opportunity and decision. In that brief moment of time we are trying to give them so many questions that they can ask themselves before they make a decision. We want them to pause long enough to "check their pulse" and run the decision thru a few questions then make a wise decision.

A lot of times when we talk to someone after making a bad decision, we ask them "what were you thinking?" and they typically respond with "I have no idea". So we just want them to pause, check their pulse and then hopefully make a good choice.

Anyway, last night we had a student stand up and tell how he was at a party and he was being encouraged to smoke marijuana. The guy he went to the party with decided he didn't want to be around that stuff and was leaving. Now he was left with only the people who wanted him to smoke it but he said he had a "check your pulse" moment and decided that this is not the best thing for him to do. Instead of smoking, he found his friend and they left together.

I am so proud of these guys. I am equally proud of the environment this team has created to allow students to feel comfortable enough to stand up and share personal stories without fear of being judged.

My point: we all go thru junk & hard times. I think it is sad that we don't feel comfortable enough to ask for help or choose not to open up in fear of being judged instead of helped.

I am so encouraged to see the LifeChange that is taking place in these students & adult leaders - well done team!

oh crap!

Next Wed @ Pulse we will be talking about crap.

We all have those moments in life when we can't say anything other than "oh crap!"

We will be sharing stories about our "oh crap" moments and we will talk about how to avoid them.

We are going to talk about the ultimate opportunity for the worst "oh crap" moment ever & how to make sure you don't have it. I am sure there will be a lot of funny stories, some sad stories but the goal is to learn from those stories.

My point: when you are prepared and warned, you have no excuse. Share your "oh crap" stories so others can learn from them and learn from the stories you hear. There is no reason to repeat those moments.

I would love to hear your "oh crap" story. You can leave a comment or post on my FB wall

fill in the gap

In 1 Cor 13 Paul tells us what Love is. There is a part toward the end that says Love always Trusts...

When we expect something from someone and what they deliver is less than we expected, we have a gap. We choose to fill that gap with suspicion or trust. Today many C3ers made the decision to give the benefit of the doubt when there is a gap between expectations and experience.

Trust is something we choose to give or withhold. When we choose suspicion over trust we are communicating rejection. No one functions well in a relationship where they feel rejected.

My point: it feels a lot better to trust than to go thru life being suspicious and not trusting anyone. When you don't trust anyone, you are a lonely person. When you fear being hurt so bad that you won't trust anyone, you will never have meaningful fulfilling healthy relationships.

Trust is a choice: what's the downside?

guard your heart

We have an amazing team of adult leaders to help Pulse student ministry. These guys (& gals) just get it. They not only make my job easy, they make it fun.

We are seeing incredible LifeChange in so many of the students & that is contagious. We need to experience LifeChange ourselves & model it for the students.

The other day one of the team was strugglin with something & called me. She let me know that she prayed thru it & determined that there was no way she was going to let this go to her heart. She understands that what is in ur heart comes out. It was more important to her to guard her heart so when she poured out to the students, poison wouldn't come out. That is called LifeChange!

As a result of her choice to guard her heart, she was able to pour love out to the youth that night.

My point: what goes in - comes out. If u have bitterness & unforgiveness in ur heart, poison will come out.

Someone said when u choose not to forgive someone, its like drinking poison & expecting it to hurt the other person.

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easily offended

I saw a little girl the other day and I found myself trying to guess how old she was. I thought about my kids and decided that this little girl was about 3 yrs old.

I realized I stink at guessing people's ages. I would be horrible at the carnival game to guess ages. Then I started thinking about people's spiritual age. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to determine someone's spiritual maturity.

If we could do that, we could partner the mature ones with the less mature believers. Then I heard a statement that said "you can determine your spiritual maturity by how easily offended you are".
Uh oh...

If we can determine how spiritually mature someone is by how easily offended they are, there are a lot of immatture so-called believers up in the house!

If you find yourself being offended I would challenge you to take a long hard look at your relationship with Jesus.

My point: If you are easily offended, you are immature. If that statement just offended you - you proved my point.

be a miracle

I remember when I was wondering why God doesn't seem to "do" miracles anymore. I know that I was focusing on what I defined as a miracle and then I realized that He does still do miracles and sometimes He will allow us to be part of them.

I got to witness this the other night. There is a couple that needed a financial miracle and God came thru in an "anonymous" way.

I had the priviledge of being right in the middle of it. "Anonymous" contacted me and said to let the couple know that God took care of the need.

I got to see first hand the reaction and even tho some may not consider it a "miracle" because an anonymous person took care of it, there were no arguments from the couple that needed it.

My point: God still does miracles and sometimes we get to be part of them.

Go be a miracle to someone...

axiom

I try to reinforce behaviors by repeating little bullet statements. Bill Hybels wrote a book called axiom & uses these statements to help him filter decisions.

One that I have seen working is "smiles & hugs". Hannah & Rae dont always wake up the most cheerful little princesses but now we made a rule that when u get up u have to smile & gives hugs. That helps get over the grumpy butt attitude.

It doesnt always work but it gets them thinking about their attitude. They now remind each other (& us) to smile & give hugs - thats how I know its working.

My point: I am not always going to be around but if I can leave some axioms to help my kids be better people & make better decisions, I am ok with that.

A shout out to my dad who without realizing it helped me see how effective repitition is. He used to always say "do it right the first time so u dont have to do it again" (among others). I dont always do it right the first time but I always hear him telling me to.

I just blogged on my DROID

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clearance

shirt vest

I can't believe that this little number was on the clearance rack.

I find it kinda comical when I see the sweater vest. I am not sure I found anyone sport them quite like Tressel.

I am at a meeting today in Polaris and it is quite common to see multiple sweater vests make an appearance. I decided to conform to the pattern of the people - I went vest!

I never thougth I would buy a sweater vest (I still haven't - its not a sweater), but when I saw this gem hanging on the rack, I decided it was a must buy. There is no downside to having this baby in your closet. It is a very versatile. You can dress it up or down. It was a great purchase.

My point: I saw an amazing opportunity to grab it and the price was right so I pulled the trigger and made it mine.

I can't believe that it was so cheap and there were a ton of them - go figure!

Extreme sissy

Ok so I admit that I usually get all choked up when I watch Extreme makeover home edition. There is something about that show that really gets to me.

I love how they find a family in need and tell their story. If they only showed the house before and after, it wouldn't be anywhere near as moving.

The part that makes it so emotional is the story. When they show how bad things are and how they are currently living, it just tears me up. Then you get to ride the emotional roller coaster. The family gets to spend a week at Disney and come home to the dream home.

I think the cool part is watching the faces of the kids. They go from sad or hopeless to amazement and excitement. There is something about having their own space specifically designed for them that gives them a sense of "anything is possible".

I love watching people go from hopeless to hopeFULL.

Maybe that is why I absolutely love C3. We get to watch people go through LifeChange and it is a joy to get to watch.

My point: as Christians we should be the people who offer hope to others through our words and actions. We should do our best to do whatever it takes to show the love of the God we serve.

I get emotional when I watch Extreme makeover home addition but I also get choked up when people experience the love of Christ. So if getting all teary eyed when I watch an extreme makeover or an extreme LifeChange makes me a sissy - I guess I am an extreme sissy and I am ok with that...

shut up and color

I hate when someone is having a bad day and it seems like their goal is to let everyone know it.

This past Sunday was a very tough day but I purposely tried to guard reacting differently to people. I didn't want to take it out on other people just because I was bummin. It wasn't anyone's fault so why should they have to take the brunt of my pain or grief.

I had a couple situations where I wanted to discuss some things with some people but chose not too just because I wanted to make sure I didn't come off like a jerk (I mean - any more than normal)

I don't always do this, but I was able to do it on the toughest day of the year because I was aware of the possibility of overreacting. If we guard it we can avoid hurting people just because we are hurting.

My point: know yourself well enough to know when you should or shouldn't talk. If you are not sure - pause and run it by someone not involved. It's always better to wait and respond then to react and bite someone's head off.

Sometimes you should just shut up and color, it helps relieve stress...

motivation

Why do I blog?

I have been asking myself that for quite awhile now. I can't come up with a real good reason so I guess I keep doing it for my faithful fan (yes that is singular).

I started thinking about why people do what they do. What's their motivation. As I have been thinking about it, I began watching people try to flex their brain muscle, "one up" someone, make sure everyone knows how smart they are, complain, try to make someone look foolish, manipulate others... there were so many more.

The ones I appreciated were the ones who did things with the right heart. I would see someone pick up a piece of trash when they didn't think anyone was looking, take out trash for no other reason than it was full, fix a toilet because it was overflowing, grab a mop, help someone find a seat, volunteer to watch children, move chairs... there were so many more.

What's your motivation? Why do you do what you do when you do it?

My point: Even when you don't think anyone is watching, someone may be. When you hope someone is watching so you get credit for what you are doing, you may end up looking worse.

Take a look at the things you do, if you dare to be brutally honest with yourself, ask what is the REAL motivation, you may surprise yourself with how selfish you are...

make sure you vote...

Its that time of year that leaves change and we start to gear up for the holiday season but it is also time to vote on certain things.

Here is an example of a someone who has a desire to be on the school board. Not sure if he will get elected or not but I am pretty sure he is generating a few conversations.

We are being bombarded with TV commercials telling us to vote yes followed by another commercial telling us to vote no on the same issue... What's a person to do.

I am a fan of doing the research and voting on what you think is the wise thing to do. Everyone can debate what is right or wrong but when you filter your decisions through the question "what is the wise thing to do"... you may come up with a different answer.

My point: we all have certain beliefs and we are entitled to agree or disagree. If you are going to vote, you should filter your vote based on the wise thing to do.

Whether you vote for this guy or not, you gotta admit it is a good marketing strategy...

praying tiger

We have had some incredibly stupid things happen in our local schools lately. There have been bomb threats, vehicles set on fire, a gun found in the H.S. & "hit lists" found. The Jr high and high school went on lockdown a few times last week.

This is absolutely crazy. I am definitely one of those people who thought "pickerington - really", this stuff doesn't happen around here... but it did.

With incredibly stupid things comes the opportunity for incredibly awesome things. My daughter Shayna is in Jr high. She texted me to pray because the school went on lockdown Friday. Of course I prayed & asked others to do so as well.

Here is the awesome part: Shayna didn't just ask others to pray, she prayed too. I was so proud of her when she said other people were freaking out but she remained calm. At least outwardly she was. She said she was nervous on the inside but what good would it do to show it. It would've just added to the chaos and feelings of fear in others.

Instead of panicking, she chose to be a voice of calm to her friends. During one of her classes, a group was talking about the "what if" scenarios. She stopped them and led them in a prayer. I almost cried when she told me this (I am almost crying now...).

When I was in 7th grade, I would've been one making jokes outwardly and silently praying and freaking out on the inside. I would NEVER be caught praying with my friends. I was too cool (or so I thought).

My little girl is a proud member of the Pickerington Tigers, and that day she became a "praying tiger"...

My point: you find out who you are when things get stressful. What is on the inside comes out. Who you are is made clear under pressure.

I am so proud that Shayna was able to call upon help from the One who has all the answers. I am so excited that she wasn't embarrassed to pray in front of her friends.

I am glad that she didn't get in trouble for praying in school...

default

When you mess with most techy devices they usually have a "restore default settings" button. That is so you can get it back to the way it was if you mess it up to bad or don't like it once you've changed it.

I was talking to some people about how we communicate and it seems like we have a "default" reaction to news that we don't necessarily like. When you watch some comedy shows, the typical reaction is biting sarcasm, anger or getting defensive. That is funny to watch but not real fun to experience.

My usual default response used to be sarcasm or humor. I have since tried to respond calmly as opposed to reacting negatively. It is usually better to respond instead of react. The difference is a planned approach. When you respond, you think before you speak. When you react, your default actions kick in and it's usually negative.

Don't you hate trying to talk to people that you know they are just going to take what you are saying the wrong way. It is so stinkin' hard to have a conversation when you are so worried about how your words are going to be taken. Walking on eggshells is really difficult.

My wife and I have agreed to give each other the benefit of the doubt. I confess that we aren't always successful but we try. When you give people the benefit of the doubt, you don't have to get all defensive, sarcastic and attack. You simply hear what they are saying, make sure you understand it the way they intended and then respond calmly.

My point: if people fear telling you things, your default reaction stinks. It's something that you can totally control and you need to have enough self-discipline to think before you speak. If not, people are going to hate you and not want to be around you. If that is what you are going for, well then, keep reacting instead of responding.

No one likes to be yelled at. What if people talked to you the way you talk to them. Stop making excuses, grow up and change your default settings... respond instead of react.

You can thank me later...

good grief

Remember how Charlie Brown used to say "good grief"... I started thinking about that. Is grief good? 

Today was probably the roughest time of my mourning the loss of my precious Megan. She was born on Nov 8th and died on Nov 12th. Deni and I usually spend some time on Nov 8th remembering her life and doing something in memory of her. We watch her video and we talk about those 4 days we spent with her and we cry cry cry...

This year was a little different. I thought I would handle it ok and we didn't do our normal routine. We made different plans. I was blown away at how incredibly different this year was. I found myself being really grumpy, giving short answers, getting mad at little things and I couldn't see how anyone would want to be around me because quite honestly, I didn't want to be around myself. 

I hated feeling like I did, but I didn't know how or what to do about it. I was pushing my wife away instead of embracing her and getting through this together. I found myself getting incredibly mad at her for not comforting me. I didn't even think about comforting her, I was too busy being selfish and self centered. My grief wouldn't allow me to focus on anyone or anything but myself. I didn't know how to communicate my feelings because I didn't understand them.

The one thing I know about grief is that it is unpredictable. Just because I handled it a certain way last year, doesn't mean I will handle it the same this year. We all handle it differently. 

I learned a lot about myself this year. One of the things I communicated to my wife is that when I am not myself and I am grumpy or irritable, the best thing she can do is give me a big ol' hug... She is taking a risk by doing it but she has to trust me enough to believe that a hug will bring me back to reality and send a much more loving message than getting mad at me or just keeping distance. 

My point: we have to allow ourselves the time we need to grieve. We just have to figure out how to grieve in a way that it doesn't hurt others. I heard that "hurting people, hurt people". I don't think that is the intent, it's just that we don't always communicate our feelings in a healthy way. 

Grieving is healthy but I wouldn't say "good grief".

to everyone who has prayed for us - THANK YOU and may God bless you.  

who I was -vs- who I am

Last night I blogged in an attempt to be funny... or did I?

I posted a video (I already removed it) that my friend John put on youtube. It is an absolutely hilarious video and I laughed like crazy while watching it but I posted it with the intent to embarrass him - but that is not what friends do.

He was making comments about the pictures I posted on my facebook and I was striking back. I figured if he can dish it out, he can take it. While that sounds good and fair, it just made me feel awful.

As I shared the last time I got to speak at C3 church in a message called "beware of the mouth", I am a recovering idiot. I used to be the one would make fun of people for a laugh. I realized that the reason I made fun of people was out of my own insecurities. 

I am not saying that is why other people do it - it is why I did it. I would justify it with: well it's true, they know I'm kidding, it was just a joke... I would make all kind of excuses. The bottom line is it was wrong. Funny or not, it is wrong for ME to use my words to tear others down. 

I found myself wanting revenge, to make others look stupid because that is what they were attempting to do to me, and I didn't like my motive. I apologize to John "the Truth" TeHaug and to everyone who reads this blog. I became what I used to be and didn't stay true to who I am and I hated that. 

My point: it is a daily battle to sustain the changes I have made in my life. I can't allow others to suck me back into that world.

I am the one who posted the pictures knowing they are funny. I think they are definitely a sign of the times changing. I will keep posting pictures that are intended to be funny and if you choose to make comments, have fun and know that there will be no retaliation. I can take it. 

mirror mirror

The other day Hannah (the 3 yr old red head) said something that sounded a little mean. I thought "she must have heard that from her mother"... maybe she did or maybe she heard it from someone who looked like me. 

When our kids do or say bad things, we can discipline them but we also have to ask where did they learn or hear that. Sometimes even things we say that was meant as a joke, when repeated, can sound different. 

I can be playing with the dog and say "bad dog" when she scratches the mess out of me or "stupid dog" when she runs off and we can't find her for an hour... but when Hannah repeats "stupid bad dog" it sounds awful. 

Another thing Hannah does now is discipline her babies. If you want to see how they view you, watch them with their babies. Hannah was telling one of her babies how disappointed she was and how it was not nice to do that. It got us thinking. 

Deni and I have decided to intentionally watch the tone & volume of our voice. We want to see if it makes a difference. We will not yell when we discipline or be negative when we talk. We saw a difference in ONE DAY!!! 

Hannah was happier and more positive after just one day of creating a positive atmosphere. She was talking nice to us, her sisters and even the stupid bad dog. Hannah is a very happy active child. It is our responsibility to make sure she grows up in a peaceful home.

My point: when you watch shows like nanny 911 or super nanny, you NEVER hear them tell you that you should scream or yell at your child more. I understand that raising your voice is necessary sometimes. It should be the exception not the rule. 

If you show self control, so will they. If your house is always chaotic and stressfull maybe you should take a peek in the ol' mirror. 

I HATE hearing parents yell at their kids. I want to introduce them to "Mr. Sockfull O. Nickels"