are -vs- want to

I think I am going to change the question "how are you doing?" to "how do you want to be doing?". That may change the way people answer. 

Today, I overheard a person casually ask someone "how are you doing this morning" only to hear the person respond "I am so tired, I didn't get to bed until after 11". I thought - oh poor baby, did you not get your 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep!!! 

Why do people feel the need to tell people how bad things are. Is there nothing good you can say? Wow, that must be awful. 

Then there are people who will make it sound like it is the biggest deal to do the smallest little thing. They go into all the things that they will have to do or how much of a pain it's gonna be to help. 

If you can't do it, say no. If you can but it's gonna take some rearranging or changing plans - do it without complaining. I would rather hear you say "NO" instead of all the awful things you have to go thru to say "yes"... 

My point: Unfortunately when people say "how are you", most of the time they are just being nice. The next time someone asks you that question, give them a big smile and do your best to respond in a positive way. Watch their reaction, they will be surprised that you are different, because most people answer negative. 

If I ask, I really do care how people are doing but there are those people who you just know are going to be negative no matter what - so I stop asking those people that question and I will begin asking "how do you want to be doing?", if the response to that is negative - you got issues!