5 ways to stay in love

It is no secret that I love my wife very much. She is my best friend. We have chosen to allow this marriage to be built on biblical principals.  It isn't always easy, but it is well worth it. 

Here are 5 very practical things we have done throughout our relationship to choose to love:

//10 reasons I fell in love with you: one of the first fights we ever had as a married couple, we went to our separate corners. I knew she was too mad to talk so I just went in and asked her to write down 10 reasons she fell in love with me, then whenever she was ready, come and talk to me. When she came in, she was still very visibly mad but she did it. I said, I will read my list of 10 reasons I fell in love with you first. As I read, I could see her body language changing. When I finished, it was her turn and it took the focus off whatever we were arguing about and put the focus on our love. We then calmly talked about what we disagreed on and made up. 

//Filter your actions thru biblical love: one time during a disagreement, I was reading the bible. I was looking for reasons to strengthen my stance on how right I was but what happened was I different, I felt very convicted. I read 1 Cor 13 (commonly referred to as "the love chapter"). I then filtered the way we were treating each other thru the Bible's definition of love. I went to my wife and started working thru the biblical definition of love: patient, kind, does not keep score... (you'll have to read the rest for yourself) and apologized for the way I was acting. I said, love is patient and I was not very patient with you, love is kind and I was not very kind to you & went thru the entire list. She then accepted her part of the argument and we calmly made our way to a loving solution. 

//I Love you because: sometimes we will just lay together and take turns saying "I love you because..." then we fill in the blank and it feels great. 

//I feel loved when: we will also tell each other "I feel loved when..." and point out when we feel loved by the other one. This is great because it reinforces the positive things and of course we want repeat what is rewarded. 

//Heart talk: one of the best things we have done for our relationship is learn how to communicate very tough topics in a calm and loving way. This one is extremely hard but well worth learning how to do it. We don't always do it as well as we want to but that is when we allow the emotions to get in front of the love. When you hear the heart instead of the anger, it is much easier to talk calmly and work to a loving solution.  

My point: of course we disagree at times, but we choose to work thru those times. We don't let feelings stay internal and grow into bitterness. We have a choice to grow in our love. If we say we "Love", do we back it up with our actions. 

If someone asked your spouse: do you feel loved - what would their response be? What are you doing to make your spouse feel loved... 

Before you ask, NO - I am not kissing up for something I did to make her mad... This is just another way to show her how much I love her.