4 years ago today, I had the amazing opportunity to witness the birth of a beautiful baby girl. Deni and I welcomed Megan Renae to this world and our lives will forever be changed. Megan lived only 4 days but the lessons I have learned and continue to learn will stay with me for the rest of my life. Every year I allow myself this day to mourn. Normally when I think about Megan, I choose to focus on the good things about those 4 days.
I know that little girl lived her entire life (although short) knowing nothing but LOVE. Somehow there is comfort in that. I don't suppress my feelings, I just choose to focus on the blessings that Megan brought.
Then every Nov 8th, I will watch a video that we made of her short time on this earth. I watch my family hold her not knowing if she would die in their arms. I look at the pain on their faces because they will not see her again until we meet in Heaven. I see how different we all looked 4 years ago. I also notice how much pain there still is when I watch it.
One of the coolest things I have learned is that the pain is so great because the love is so deep. If we don't care, we don't hurt. Whenever I talk to people that have suffered loss, I remind them that they are hurting so bad because they loved so much. That can't be a bad thing.
My point: I don't EVER want the pain to be gone. I choose to allow that grief and pain serve as a reminder that I LOVE MEGAN SO MUCH!!!
If you have suffered a loss, I am sorry. Don't minimize the pain or act like it isn't hard. Choose to embrace the pain as a reminder of the depth of love you have for the one you lost.
This is my favorite picture of my precious baby girl. She is so comfortable in Mommy's arms. She will have to be comforted in the arms of Jesus until we can hold her again.
"I love you little girl"
6 comments:
"One of the coolest things I have learned is that the pain is so great because the love is so deep.... "
No truer words have there been spoken.
God Bless you all.
my thoughts and prayers are with your family today.
Thanks for writing that to honor our sweet girl today! Yes, tears are rolling down my cheeks right now. I love and miss her so much! Sometimes it feels like I can't take this kinda pain anymore, but then I have to focus on her and how happy she must be right now. She taught me how to be a mommy and I am a better person just for knowing her. Carrying her for 9 months and spending her whole life with her was one of the best times of my life. That short time w/my precious Megan was worth the lifetime of pain I now endure! Thanks for letting me post such a long comment! Love you!
What a privilage to walk those days with you....what lessons we learned from them for even ourselves...and in the years since. We love you...and it will be a joy to meet Megan one day! Howard, Shaina, and Kimber
B2B
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